Types of D/S Relationships – BDSM Files


Top/bottom: A top will dominate a bottom in a scene, and a bottom will submit in a scene. Neither has much desire to continue this dominance and submission outside of a play/bedroom situation. This is great for shared fetishes and kinky sex.

Dom/sub: Get all the fun that a top and bottom get, but this power exchange tends to move out of the play arena and bedroom. A submissive still has some control she can call her own, and the dominant allows her that 

Master/slave: Total ownership of the submissive. This is where the slave gives all her control to the Master. This is a HUGE commitment IMHO. Both had better have their acts together. If you are a slave and your life isn’t in control, then what are you really giving the Master. And if the Master on the other hand isn’t in control of his life, then can you really trust them with the control you give? Enter with caution

Submission Without Rigid Labels

Of course, you can call yourself anything you want in a relationship. I just think it is important for those new to know what they are walking into. It is very natural to start as a bottom and work up to a slave as the relationship goes on. Then there are the once in a blue moon times when on a first meeting your heart screams Master.

Pain for me is part of the whole thing but it doesn’t have to be.  Pain takes me someplace very special indeed.  I believe its the proverbial sub-space.  I’ve been there before and I look forward to going there again. I would seek pain if it would please my Master.  I would not try to be a “brat” to get the pain that I desire. – Desiree

What motivates us during certain acts, what gets us off. I have found there are three types of submissives, control oriented, obedience oriented, and service oriented.

A control oriented submissive enjoys being controlled by her dominant. She gets off off on his control over her.

A service oriented submissive enjoys pleasing her dominant. She gets on the pleasure her service brings to him.

An obedience oriented submissive enjoys following orders. She especially gets off when the orders are difficult.

I think initially we are attracted to similar partners. Those dominants who share similar domming styles as our submissive styles. I think we need to choose our partners accordingly, or adjust to each others needs.

And then again, i think there are acts that brings out all three in us. For me, when pain is involved this is especially true. I get off that he can do this to me, and that i can take it, and that i can take pain for his pleasure. “Bend over, don’t scream…” followed by the strokes of a cane, the smile on his face all because he can.

Photos by The Pain Files – Exclusive BDSM Films



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